there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
