I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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