I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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