Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
