I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize