I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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