so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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