you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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