At least make sure they are 18
Why
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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