Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
