Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
