i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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