if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
