We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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