My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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