im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
