i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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