nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so explain again why im purple
no
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
