How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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