spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
