So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
