In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
