who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
