Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
