theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
40s are totally the cure
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
