I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
