Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
