Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
