I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
