i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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