I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
