I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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