You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i drank out of a bidet.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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