Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
