Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
