do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
