I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
