remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
