Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
