You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
