i just had sex bonerless
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Text me some of your sweat
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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