when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
