i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I want to fling myself into the sun
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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