So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize