I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
