If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
