i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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