New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
