You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Terrible idea I love it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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