Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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