ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
