She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize