please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
