she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
