I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
