You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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