Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
