he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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