is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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