Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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