I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
its liver damage thursday
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
