5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
