I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
