Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
