Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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