It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
